Nothing

Amelia enjoyed her visit with the doctors at Johns Hopkins last week even though she couldn't remember the place very well. I guess that's good, right? She was sweet and friendly and completely unaware of any of my real concerns. After a nice exam with Kathy Ruble, the long-term follow-up nurse, we were sent for a few chest x-rays to confirm a osteochondroma on her rib. She behaved like the veteran that she is and amazed the radiology staff in the process. When we returned to the clinic Dr. Loeb was there and waiting to see and touch Amelia too. She gave him chocolate and a hug and made him laugh. He shared some of her war story with a fellow in the room who really enjoyed seeing what a real survivor looked like. It was so nice to see our old friend Dr. Loeb. I think the feeling was mutual.

The official news is that there was nothing to see on the x-ray. Nothing at all. It was as if the bump wasn't there. What? Dr. Loeb even brought her films to the weekly sarcoma conference for those radiologists to look over them. Nothing. They are telling me that the bump appears to be just a normal part of architecture of the bone. Huh? Okay. So the plan is to ignore it as long as it doesn't do any growing or hurting or anything and to just pretend that it isn't there. That's going to be really easy for me. Right!

I was so happy to find that this bump could be nothing more than a late-effect but then felt sad because it was going to be another one of those things that Amelia would have to put in her backpack for life. Now I'm just confused as to how I feel. I don't like having to watch or ignore anything on her. It makes me half crazy. I am thankful that I scheduled a long-term follow-up appointment with Dr. Sklar while we're in NY for the NB Team Reunion in April. If there is any further change to this little lump we will be able to discuss it with another team of experts. Hopefully it will only be something for the record and nothing else. I am just going to have to have faith.

Osteochondromas

Short Update:

I was able to get in contact with the long term follow-up nurse at Hopkins today and she said that this sounds like something benign called osteochondromas. A possible late effect. I feel a lot better about this at the moment but won't count my chickens too early. We have an appointment for Tuesday and will probably get an x-ray.

Life is Lumpy

It's been a really long time since an update and I am at a loss for words right now. My radar picked up a sort of small bump on Amelia's ribcage the other day and I am scared to death. Nothing like having a long weekend to mull it over. I tried keeping this to my self for a little while but finally decided to share it with my husband. I wanted him to tell me I was crazy but instead he told me to make an appointment. I am not about to talk to Amelia or my parents or my children about this until I get her over to Hopkins on Tuesday. Amelia really prefers NY to Baltimore and I don't blame her. She has very few memories of Hopkins and the folks at Sloan treat her like royalty. Regardless I think Hopkins will be able to assess the situation with less commotion. I am really hoping that they can tell me that I'm a freak and send me for counseling. I am really hoping that is just magically disappears. I am really trying to keep positive and hopeful and distracted for the next couple of days. Please don't ask me to talk about this on the phone right now. Please protect my family from my greatest fears. Please pray for it to be nothing. Feel free to leave a note letting me know you were here. Thanks.